The biggest lie we are told in grief ... so often people are told to 'be strong'. Sadly, the typical interpretation of what it is to be strong in grief is the complete opposite to the actual truth. I'm always interested to know what people think strength is in the context of suffering or grief - putting everyone else first or keeping it together for the sake of your siblings, kids, family members? Why should we have a list of reasons not to grieve openly? Do people see crying as a weakness. Boxing up your emotions/tears is never helpful in the long run. By 'being strong' you may be reducing your ability to support others effectively? Suppressing your emotions for some means strength when in actual fact sharing our feelings and distress is a sign of strength. Strength is allowing yourself to be vulnerable, to live in the moment and to show great courage and kindness to yourself. Grief is meant to hurt. Strength is the ability to do what's best for you.